I don't know what to do with my life.
(...) Stepping aside , wondering , asking myself the reason why I choose and favor someone above another , looking around me and what I see is what my society has become .
Do I have to deal with my mistakes over and over or do I have to let them create this sort of illusion and paradox in my life again and again...
Do I ever felt the need of the other side that I will “never” have , or it's just an illusion.. dreaming of something that could happened in real life and waiting so patiently , crossing fingers , hoping that one and only act of kindness could take me from my misery (...)
Do I have to share my thoughts, my ideas ,” my belongings” with the person I may fall for , or do I have to keep them for my egoistic and selfish “ me” .. and if I did share them , what could happened is nearly devastating , the damage that could bring is immense , and I can't keep up with all these moral and immoral reaction that could create.
Between what is real , and fiction .. I feel lost , I have no regret of doing what I'm doing . the path I'm chosen is the safest road I could take .
Do I feel happy , satisfied , contented , delighted , joyful ? no, I'm not .. in this way I feel safe , cus what I'm showing to the others it what these sorrows wanted to see , they are too , hidden these dreadful feelings in them .
From my point of view , I see hurt, torn, damage, injure,hatred , and harm.. nothing but pain coming from the other side covered by plastic emotions ..
I need to keep smtg for myslfe !!(...)